This finding happiness business is a little trickier than I thought because, despite my accomplishments and reading inspirational books and watching Oprah, I have never quite achieved the steady and satisfying level of happiness I had always planned on growing up. I guess I thought true happiness would suddenly appear the day I left for college, then I thought for sure it would show up after I got my first paycheck, and then I knew it must be waiting until I lost a few pounds. Don’t get me wrong, I am content and love my family, my home, and my career, but I know that there is a greater zeal and appreciation for life that I’m missing. I wish I was optimistic and enthusiastic most of the time, and that my mental slumps and stressful days were fewer and far between. I wish I popped out of bed every morning singing and throwing the curtains open, but instead I wake up grumpy, needing coffee, and spiteful that the morning came so soon.
Last night I started reading an article on the science and history of happiness. According to scientific research, only about 40% of our happiness can be controlled by our attitude and choices, and the rest is up to genetics and life circumstances. Even with that 40% control, many of our moments of happiness are short-lived because we have a rush of excitement (like getting a promotion or falling in love), and then the happiness fades as it becomes a normal part of our lives, leaving us tragically waiting for the next best thing. I don’t want to keep waiting for the next best thing, to upgrade my house or to go on vacation, in order to feel happiness. Can’t I just feel it all the time? The article then mentioned Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project, a memoir about her year spent actively searching for a higher level of satisfaction. She started making calculated changes to her everyday life that ultimately made her a happier person. It sounded like a good book to read, and I put the magazine away resolved that I would read it…eventually…okay, probably never.
I lost sleep that night. I thought about Benjamin Franklin. Yes, him. Similar to Rubin, but with greater intensity and ingenuity, he once created a list of 13 human virtues, and week by week he attempted to make each one of them a habit in hopes he could eventually reach a state of “moral perfection.” He tried this for years, and regardless of his failures, I have been fascinated by his ambition and dedication to the whole venture. Not necessarily correlating happiness with morality but considering the challenge and advantage of these endeavors, that night I plotted merging Rubin and Franklin’s ideas and starting my own happiness project.
And that brings me to this blog.
My plan is not to find a magical state of bliss or to be faultless or to prove anything to anybody, but instead I want to document making tangible, healthy changes in my life. I am hoping that by being more mindful of and accountable for my attitude and habits that I will make a positive impact on my life and the world around me. Instead of waiting on happiness to show up or to feel defeated that 60% of my happiness is out of my hands, I am ready to be proactive. So I started by creating a list of goals, similar to Benjamin Franklin’s, for each month of the year. Each month will be an opportunity to concentrate on specific behaviors and actions that will, hopefully, become habitual and benefit my mind and body. These goals, along with some of my notes, are below:
1. Nutrition and Health (vitamins, hydration, organic whole foods, natural products)
2. Kindness and Generosity (compassion, compliments, good deeds, paying it forward)
3. Order and Purpose (cleanliness, organization, set goals, finish projects)
4. Strength and Flexibility (Yoga, stretching, weights, cardio)
5. Relationships (affection, communication, make new friends, connect with friends/family)
6. Adventure and Fun (get outdoors, try new things, sing, joke, be a Yes Man)
7. Community and Environment (shop locally, volunteer, recycle, go green)
8. Knowledge and Interests (DIY projects, try new hobbies, read, research)
9. Sleep and Tranquility (get 8 hours of sleep, relax, meditate)
10. Simplicity and Moderation (get rid of excess, be easier, moderate indulgences)
11. Gratitude and Positivity (give thanks, gratitude journal, avoid negativity, smile more)
12. Spirituality and Resolution (pray, WWJD, soul-search, reflect, have closure)
As expected, this project will begin on New Year’s Day, so I’ve got two weeks before I change my lifestyle and I couldn’t be more excited. If you follow my posts (and I’m not exactly expecting a plethora of people here) then I'm hoping you will be part of my moral support. Even better, I would love if you attempted this with me and we created a ripple effect of happier living. I will be back on January 1st to explain my plans and thoughts for the month. Until then, Happy Holidays!
