January: Nutrition and Health
February: Kindness and Generosity
March: Order and Purpose
April: Strength and Flexibility
May: Relationships
June: Adventure and Fun
July: Community and Environment
August: Knowledge and Interests
September: Sleep and Tranquility
October: Simplicity and Moderation
November: Gratitude and Positivity
December: Spirituality and Resolution
Most pregnant women aren't the epitomy of fun and adventure, and I understand why. All I can think about these days is eating and sleeping, not to mention, I feel prohibited from doing so many things: no caffeine, no alcohol, no hot tubs, no sushi, no strenuous activity, no rollercoasters, no bike riding, no buttoning skinny jeans...
Regardless of my condition, I already knew that this was an area I needed to work on. I love being outdoors, traveling and meeting new people, and I enjoy change, from my hair color to my car to my job. At the same time, I can get stuck in my comfort zone. There have been many beautiful, sunny weekends that I have opted to stay in bed all day with the curtains drawn and movies playing. Although I enjoy this immensely, there is always a sense of guilt that I should be out living life a little more. My husband will have these spontaneous ideas of things to go do, from just going on a drive with no destination to going catfishing in the middle of the night. Nah, I say. Sounds like it will cost money or be too much work or be boring. I am also a planner, so I like to know when we're leaving, where we're going, what the agenda is, and when we're coming back...in advance. This doesn't leave a ton of room for adventure or spontaneity.
So this bring me to June, which I have dedicated to fun and adventure. Although I have a few necessary restrictions, this month I will be enthusiastic and open to try new things. If an opportunity or exciting idea presents itself, I will say yes! We are leaving to go to Florida with friends in about a week and though I cannot do what I originally planned, which is to spend the week sipping Pina Coladas on the beach and staying out dancing all night long, I am going to be the most fun pregnant lady my friends have ever seen! Outside of this vacation time, I want to spend the month taking advantage of my time off work. It's easy for me to get lazy during the summer, and I've even had my days where I've never changed out of my pajamas or walked outside the door. I plan to get up and do something interesting or new each day, whether it's picking up a new hobby, checking out a museum or zoo or farmer's market, going to the river with my husband, or just trying a meal I've never had before (you mean they serve something other than cheese ravioli at Olive Garden?). I think this habit is important for my well-being because, unfortunately, it's normal to become more sedentary and less adventurous as we get older. I don't want my children to grow up where the majority of our time is spent watching TV, playing video games, and sleeping. I want us to be active, outdoorsy, curious and fun!
I want to live life so that I have no regrets, and I want to be a FUN person to be around. The following quote was said by an 85 year old, Nadine Stair, when she was asked what she would do differently if she could live life over again. I think I have a few things to learn...
"I'd make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
"You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, and a raincoat. If I had to do it over again, I would travel lighter than I have.
"If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds and I would pick more daisies."
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
"Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you."
January: Nutrition and Health
February: Kindness and Generosity
March: Order and Purpose
April: Strength and Flexibility
May: Relationships
June: Adventure and Fun
July: Community and Environment
August: Knowledge and Interests
September: Sleep and Tranquility
October: Simplicity and Moderation
November: Gratitude and Positivity
December: Spirituality and Resolution
On April 22, I found out I was pregnant for the first time. Even though the digital home pregnancy test plainly read "PREGNANT," it might as well have been written in Japanese. I reread the word at least a dozen times before it finally sunk in...I'm going to be a mom. Okay, it didn't even sink in at that point. I had never been so overwhelmed with emotions, from fear to excitement to disbelief to nervousness to love. I always knew I wanted to have kids, but I had planned that for the future, for a time when I would be financially and mentally prepared to start a family, and I kept bumping back the perfect age or year when that would happen. I guess life has a beautiful way of letting us know we can't always call the shots.
Yes, I'm tired, a little moody, hungry, thirsty, anxious at times, and experiencing all sorts of stomach issues, but I don't know if I've ever felt this happy and excited before! All I can think about is this baby, and she/he has already changed everything about what I eat and drink and think and do. Are we having a boy or a girl? Is she/he going to be healthy? Shy or outgoing? What books do I need to read? What stuff do I need to buy? Am I a terrible person for drinking this cup of coffee? Am I getting enough sleep? Am I eating too much or too little? Should I tell people??????? This is the hardest secret in the world to keep!
My husband and I decided to secretly tell only our closest family and friends and then to wait until after the first doctor's visit and the two month mark to tell the rest of the world. This created a problem that I am very lucky to have: I have a big family and lots of close friends. As we told each person and the various squeals, cries, and congratulations poured out, I was moved. How fortunate am I that this baby would come into the world with happily married parents who have supportive friends, excited family members, and a lot of love to give?
It seems pretty ironic to me that back in January I had devoted May to strengthening relationships and reaching out to loved ones. This month, without even thinking about the blog, I have already communicated with more friends and family members than ever before. My husband and I have grown closer over the past few weeks as we've relied on each other for support and gotten more and more excited about our future. I've called, texted, emailed, and met up with friends and family for help, ideas, and advice as I go through this experience. I feel truly blessed that I have these strong relationships, and I think the best way for me to show my appreciation is to focus on strengthening my role as a wife, friend, relative, and mother.
April and May's posts are a little different, but starting in June I will be posting like I usually do. 7 more months before we welcome a little baby into this world and 7 more months before the end of my blog and a full year of becoming a better, happier me. I couldn't have planned it better if I tried :).
February: Kindness and Generosity
March: Order and Purpose
April: Strength and Flexibility
May: Relationships
June: Adventure and Fun
July: Community and Environment
August: Knowledge and Interests
September: Sleep and Tranquility
October: Simplicity and Moderation
November: Gratitude and Positivity
December: Spirituality and Resolution
On April 22, I found out I was pregnant for the first time. Even though the digital home pregnancy test plainly read "PREGNANT," it might as well have been written in Japanese. I reread the word at least a dozen times before it finally sunk in...I'm going to be a mom. Okay, it didn't even sink in at that point. I had never been so overwhelmed with emotions, from fear to excitement to disbelief to nervousness to love. I always knew I wanted to have kids, but I had planned that for the future, for a time when I would be financially and mentally prepared to start a family, and I kept bumping back the perfect age or year when that would happen. I guess life has a beautiful way of letting us know we can't always call the shots.
Yes, I'm tired, a little moody, hungry, thirsty, anxious at times, and experiencing all sorts of stomach issues, but I don't know if I've ever felt this happy and excited before! All I can think about is this baby, and she/he has already changed everything about what I eat and drink and think and do. Are we having a boy or a girl? Is she/he going to be healthy? Shy or outgoing? What books do I need to read? What stuff do I need to buy? Am I a terrible person for drinking this cup of coffee? Am I getting enough sleep? Am I eating too much or too little? Should I tell people??????? This is the hardest secret in the world to keep!
My husband and I decided to secretly tell only our closest family and friends and then to wait until after the first doctor's visit and the two month mark to tell the rest of the world. This created a problem that I am very lucky to have: I have a big family and lots of close friends. As we told each person and the various squeals, cries, and congratulations poured out, I was moved. How fortunate am I that this baby would come into the world with happily married parents who have supportive friends, excited family members, and a lot of love to give?
It seems pretty ironic to me that back in January I had devoted May to strengthening relationships and reaching out to loved ones. This month, without even thinking about the blog, I have already communicated with more friends and family members than ever before. My husband and I have grown closer over the past few weeks as we've relied on each other for support and gotten more and more excited about our future. I've called, texted, emailed, and met up with friends and family for help, ideas, and advice as I go through this experience. I feel truly blessed that I have these strong relationships, and I think the best way for me to show my appreciation is to focus on strengthening my role as a wife, friend, relative, and mother.
April and May's posts are a little different, but starting in June I will be posting like I usually do. 7 more months before we welcome a little baby into this world and 7 more months before the end of my blog and a full year of becoming a better, happier me. I couldn't have planned it better if I tried :).
Friday, May 13, 2011
"Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack." --Henry Miller
You would've thought I was Richard Simmons incarnate if you saw me 6 weeks ago. I started April hitting the gym almost every single day, I was pumped about getting in shape, and I kept the following log of my workouts to ensure I was meeting my weekly goal:
Monday 4/4: Body Pump Class (55 minutes)
Tuesday 4/5: Body Attack Class (55 minutes)
Wednesday 4/6: Spin Class (50 minutes)
Friday 4/8: Run/Walk (45 minutes)
Sunday 4/10: Run/Walk (45 minutes)
Wooohooo! Look at me. I'm getting fit, I feel good, I can do this! But why am I STARVING? If I'm going to look good in that bikini then I have to ignore these morning daydreams of bacon and biscuits and gravy. A banana for breakfast is fine.
Monday 4/11: Spin Class (50 minutes)
Tuesday 4/12: Body Attack Class (55 minutes)
Wednesday 4/13: Yoga (45 minutes)
Friday 4/15: Body Pump Class (55 minutes)
Ok, I'm still doing good, but why am I soooooo tired. All I can do is think of SLEEP! I slacked off an extra day this week because I was in desperate need of a nap (or two or three), but I'm going to step it up next week. The exhaustion and hunger is just a side effect of working out so much...surely.
Monday 4/18: Biking (30 minutes)
Tuesday 4/19: Body Attack Class (55 minutes)
Thursday 4/21: Piyo (30 minutes) + Spin Class (30 minutes)
I sluggishly forced myself to complete my workouts this week, but I came home Friday and that's when things changed. I didn't totally abandon my exercise goals for the month, in fact, I ended April by running a 5K, but let's just say that itty bitty bikini might not make an appearance this summer after all. My body had been telling me something all along...
Monday 4/4: Body Pump Class (55 minutes)
Tuesday 4/5: Body Attack Class (55 minutes)
Wednesday 4/6: Spin Class (50 minutes)
Friday 4/8: Run/Walk (45 minutes)
Sunday 4/10: Run/Walk (45 minutes)
Wooohooo! Look at me. I'm getting fit, I feel good, I can do this! But why am I STARVING? If I'm going to look good in that bikini then I have to ignore these morning daydreams of bacon and biscuits and gravy. A banana for breakfast is fine.
Monday 4/11: Spin Class (50 minutes)
Tuesday 4/12: Body Attack Class (55 minutes)
Wednesday 4/13: Yoga (45 minutes)
Friday 4/15: Body Pump Class (55 minutes)
Ok, I'm still doing good, but why am I soooooo tired. All I can do is think of SLEEP! I slacked off an extra day this week because I was in desperate need of a nap (or two or three), but I'm going to step it up next week. The exhaustion and hunger is just a side effect of working out so much...surely.
Monday 4/18: Biking (30 minutes)
Tuesday 4/19: Body Attack Class (55 minutes)
Thursday 4/21: Piyo (30 minutes) + Spin Class (30 minutes)
I sluggishly forced myself to complete my workouts this week, but I came home Friday and that's when things changed. I didn't totally abandon my exercise goals for the month, in fact, I ended April by running a 5K, but let's just say that itty bitty bikini might not make an appearance this summer after all. My body had been telling me something all along...
Thursday, March 31, 2011
"Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity." --JFK
January: Nutrition and Health
February: Kindness and Generosity
March: Order and Purpose
April: Strength and Flexibility
May: Relationships
June: Adventure and Fun
July: Community and Environment
August: Knowledge and Interests
September: Sleep and Tranquility
October: Simplicity and Moderation
November: Gratitude and Positivity
December: Spirituality and Resolution
February: Kindness and Generosity
March: Order and Purpose
April: Strength and Flexibility
May: Relationships
June: Adventure and Fun
July: Community and Environment
August: Knowledge and Interests
September: Sleep and Tranquility
October: Simplicity and Moderation
November: Gratitude and Positivity
December: Spirituality and Resolution
In October, my best friend went to Hawaii for her honeymoon and brought me back a small souvenir. And when I say small, I mean really small. She bought me a Brazilian cut bathing suit. If you're not familiar with the Brazilian cut, it is basically somewhere between a thong and a regular bikini bottom. Am I the thong type? No. Do I appreciate that my friend thinks I would look good in this bathing suit? Yes. The picture below shows the butterfly bikini she got me compared to my regular bathing suit bottoms:
As you can see, the back is no bigger than the front, which presents a few problems. I think the bathing suit is fun and cute (and conveniently eliminates tan line issues), but I’m pretty modest and this suit demands attention to a specific area of the body. I think I'm like most women in that I slightly panic when I realize bathing suit season is near and the most recent exercising I've done is back and forth to the kitchen. I'm happy with my size and body, but by no means do I feel firm or confident enough to flaunt this thing around like I'm Kim Kardashian.
I promise I'm not busting this bikini out at a casual pool party or a family trip to the lake, but I did decide that I would consider wearing this in public if: a) I am on vacation at a nice beach and b) if I am in excellent shape. I just so happen to be planning a trip to Florida in June with my friend, so if I’m going to wear this bathing suit at any point in my life, this is the one time to do it! With 9 weeks left until my vacation, I need to get my butt in shape...literally, which brings me to the goal this month: strength and flexibility.
Although the bikini is motivating, it’s not just about looking good, and if it was then I would be off base from the whole purpose of this blog. I always want my posts to come back to how each goal and habit will benefit my mind, body, and soul. Exercising releases feel-good endorphins, helps with circulation, increases energy, is good for your heart, detoxes your body, and builds strength and flexibility that is important for a quality life. I DO NOT LIKE EXERCISING when I'm in the middle of it, but I love the empowered and elated feeling I get when the workout is over. There is really no denying that exercise is a crucial part of living a long, healthy life, and this month is all about jumpstarting the habit. My goal is to workout 5 days a week for at least 45 minutes. I'd like to push myself to do high intensity workouts (step, spin, weight classes), but on days when I need to mix it up or give my body a break, I will do low intensity workouts (walking, Yoga, crunches). I know, for a definite fact, that this is a lot easier said than done, so when I'm exhausted after work and avoiding the gym like the plague, it will be time for me to put on some Sisqo and use this bikini as my muse!
"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." --William Morris
This past month was all about creating order, and I started with the most daunting task of them all: my closet. For some reason, no matter how often I clean my closet, I quickly accumulate a floordrobe (a wardrobe on the floor) and my clothes become a stressful mess. Here is the BEFORE...
and 3 hours later, here is the AFTER...
Ahhhhh! After doing a happy dance in my newly uncluttered closet, I moved on to the second biggest job on my to-do list: organizing our finances. Overall, I’ve always been pretty responsible about money and bills, but I’ve never quite known exactly how much debt my husband and I have combined or how long it will be before it’s all paid off. Between student loans, new cars, and a couple credit cards, I always procrastinated doing this because I was worried that the truth would be a bit discouraging. After going through statements and figuring out interest rates, payments, and budgets, I was relieved to find out we would be debt-free way sooner than I expected, not to mention we now had a tangible, effective plan that would save us money in the end. Alright, so there might have been a little happy dance after this, too.
With so many things going on at work and on the weekends, I got a calendar and recorded every event, appointment, and to-do for the next few months. I had so many wedding and shower invitations on my fridge that I was running out of magnets and space, but this helped me to clear my mind and my fridge. I totally cleaned the inside, too, as well as the pantry, by pulling everything out, getting rid of expired food, and cleaning the shelves. While looking through the kitchen cabinets, an overloaded folder of various recipes, which I had ripped out of magazines and jotted on random pieces of paper, stood out to me. I rarely opened that folder because of how disorganized it was, so it was as if all those years of collecting recipes had been a waste. I finally sat down and organized the recipes into a binder using page protectors, and now I have an easy way to find what I'm looking for and the papers are safe from spills and splatters while cooking:
(I have no idea why this picture is sideways.)
Throughout the month, one-by-one, I went through all parts of my house and started throwing away garbage, boxing up things I could sell or donate, and re-organizing anything that still had a purpose in my life. Even though some of this was tedious and time-consuming, I know the newly-created space, functionality and peace of mind made it worthwhile. Every time I finished a new task, I felt wonderfully productive and like a weight was just lifted off of me. I also found cool stuff that had been lost and forgotten at the back of closets or the bottom of drawers, which turned each chore into a little treasure hunt. I made life easier and more rewarding for myself by making more room for the things I value and letting go of the things I don't. I actually accumulated so much stuff to get rid of that I decided to have a garage sale. So despite my month of cleaning and hard work, it looks like I'm having mimosas and making cash this Saturday morning : ).
and 3 hours later, here is the AFTER...
Ahhhhh! After doing a happy dance in my newly uncluttered closet, I moved on to the second biggest job on my to-do list: organizing our finances. Overall, I’ve always been pretty responsible about money and bills, but I’ve never quite known exactly how much debt my husband and I have combined or how long it will be before it’s all paid off. Between student loans, new cars, and a couple credit cards, I always procrastinated doing this because I was worried that the truth would be a bit discouraging. After going through statements and figuring out interest rates, payments, and budgets, I was relieved to find out we would be debt-free way sooner than I expected, not to mention we now had a tangible, effective plan that would save us money in the end. Alright, so there might have been a little happy dance after this, too.
With so many things going on at work and on the weekends, I got a calendar and recorded every event, appointment, and to-do for the next few months. I had so many wedding and shower invitations on my fridge that I was running out of magnets and space, but this helped me to clear my mind and my fridge. I totally cleaned the inside, too, as well as the pantry, by pulling everything out, getting rid of expired food, and cleaning the shelves. While looking through the kitchen cabinets, an overloaded folder of various recipes, which I had ripped out of magazines and jotted on random pieces of paper, stood out to me. I rarely opened that folder because of how disorganized it was, so it was as if all those years of collecting recipes had been a waste. I finally sat down and organized the recipes into a binder using page protectors, and now I have an easy way to find what I'm looking for and the papers are safe from spills and splatters while cooking:
(I have no idea why this picture is sideways.)
Throughout the month, one-by-one, I went through all parts of my house and started throwing away garbage, boxing up things I could sell or donate, and re-organizing anything that still had a purpose in my life. Even though some of this was tedious and time-consuming, I know the newly-created space, functionality and peace of mind made it worthwhile. Every time I finished a new task, I felt wonderfully productive and like a weight was just lifted off of me. I also found cool stuff that had been lost and forgotten at the back of closets or the bottom of drawers, which turned each chore into a little treasure hunt. I made life easier and more rewarding for myself by making more room for the things I value and letting go of the things I don't. I actually accumulated so much stuff to get rid of that I decided to have a garage sale. So despite my month of cleaning and hard work, it looks like I'm having mimosas and making cash this Saturday morning : ).
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
"Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up." --A.A. Milne
January: Nutrition and Health
February: Kindness and Generosity
March: Order and Purpose
April: Strength and Flexibility
May: Relationships
June: Adventure and Fun
July: Community and Environment
August: Knowledge and Interests
September: Sleep and Tranquility
October: Simplicity and Moderation
November: Gratitude and Positivity
December: Spirituality and Resolution
I love shows like “Hoarders” and “Clean Sweep” where they help families get rid of massive amounts of clutter and organize their homes. I have high anxiety all through the show,but then I feel so relieved when it’s all cleaned up. If I wasn’t a teacher, I’ve always said I would love to be a professional organizer. There is something really satisfying and encouraging about turning chaos into function, and I love how light and liberated I feel in a space that has just been cleaned.
Although I usually keep things pretty neat, there are certain tasks or areas of our house that get neglected, and we are somehow always accumulating stuff but rarely getting rid of anything. In March, I plan to sell, donate, or trash things that don’t serve a positive purpose, to organize cluttered closets and drawers, and to complete projects I’ve been procrastinating. I also want to get important paperwork filed away and a plan together to pay off any and all debt efficiently. These are things that I think about doing all the time, but I never have the time or motivation to get done. The end result should be a little more peace of mind and breathing room (not to mention space to put new shoes in my closet)!
February: Kindness and Generosity
March: Order and Purpose
April: Strength and Flexibility
May: Relationships
June: Adventure and Fun
July: Community and Environment
August: Knowledge and Interests
September: Sleep and Tranquility
October: Simplicity and Moderation
November: Gratitude and Positivity
December: Spirituality and Resolution
I love shows like “Hoarders” and “Clean Sweep” where they help families get rid of massive amounts of clutter and organize their homes. I have high anxiety all through the show,but then I feel so relieved when it’s all cleaned up. If I wasn’t a teacher, I’ve always said I would love to be a professional organizer. There is something really satisfying and encouraging about turning chaos into function, and I love how light and liberated I feel in a space that has just been cleaned.
Although I usually keep things pretty neat, there are certain tasks or areas of our house that get neglected, and we are somehow always accumulating stuff but rarely getting rid of anything. In March, I plan to sell, donate, or trash things that don’t serve a positive purpose, to organize cluttered closets and drawers, and to complete projects I’ve been procrastinating. I also want to get important paperwork filed away and a plan together to pay off any and all debt efficiently. These are things that I think about doing all the time, but I never have the time or motivation to get done. The end result should be a little more peace of mind and breathing room (not to mention space to put new shoes in my closet)!
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."--Dalai Lama
I started the month being as mindful and enthusiastic about my goal as possible (time to get out there and be nice...yeah!), then reality sunk in and I was bombarded with bills, PMS, a class of whining teenagers, a pile of laundry, and two big snow storms. I really have every reason to be a positive and grateful person, but I often let everyday mishaps and annoyances put me into a grumpy mood. It would be so much easier to be happy and nice all the time if I lived on the beach, visited a spa and mall each day, and had an entourage of maids and cooks at my service. Maybe the Dalai Lama knew what he was talking about when he said to practice compassion because it doesn’t necessarily come easy in the real world. If I learned anything about myself this month it is that, even when I feel stressed, tired, and irritable, I need to always strive and put effort towards being a genuinely kind and generous person.
February started with almost two weeks of being snowed in at home with my husband and dog. With cabin fever setting in and not having as many enthusiastic greetings or compliments to give out as I planned, my month started with an attempt to simply NOT say anything mean or negative. It’s kinda sad, really. I would say I’m friendly and helpful to 99% of the strangers and acquaintances I run into each day, yet the people I love and see the most don’t always get the same five-star treatment. My husband has known for many years to not take it personal if he doesn’t get a smile or a sentence out of me before I’ve had a cup of coffee and at least 30 minutes to wake up in the morning. With my hair disheveled and eyes half-closed, I’ll even insist he not speak because his natural morning energy is just way too much. I had to give myself a pep talk at first, but this month I forced myself to get out of bed with a smiling, “Good morning!” Ok, so I didn’t remember EVERY day, but the more I did this type of thing, the happier and more positive I truly started to feel. I even held back from complaining about someone’s clothes and dishes lying around the house and decided to quietly and nicely put them away myself each day. Regardless of what my natural inclination is, I don’t want to be a grouchy, nagging wife and mother my whole life, so I’m now learning to make these pep talks a regular part of my day.
I also tried "meditating on compassion,” which is something that has been taught by many spiritual leaders, peacemakers, psychiatrists and Yoga teachers around the world. The purpose is to practice becoming a more compassionate and grateful person from the inside out. When I couldn't sleep at night, was taking a bath, or was on a walk, I would concentrate on kind thoughts about each one my friends, family members, and neighbors. I would imagine them getting good news or think about the qualities in them I am most grateful for, and in the process, I was effortlessly replacing what might have been worrisome or negative thoughts with compassionate thoughts that ultimately improved my mood, my sleep habits, and even my relationships. This is perhaps the easiest way to practice compassion, not to mention many people believe, as I do, that our thoughts (and emotions and prayers) have a confounding, powerful ability to affect people and the world around us.
I did give more compliments and words of encouragement than usual, but I also let not-so-nice things slip out on occasion. I also never found the perfect chance to buy a stranger’s coffee or to put someone’s shopping cart away, and maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough, but these are the types of things I would like to have said I did all month long. If anything, I can honestly say this month has made me more mindful of how I treat people and it has inspired me to continue working towards being a kinder, more selfless person.
February started with almost two weeks of being snowed in at home with my husband and dog. With cabin fever setting in and not having as many enthusiastic greetings or compliments to give out as I planned, my month started with an attempt to simply NOT say anything mean or negative. It’s kinda sad, really. I would say I’m friendly and helpful to 99% of the strangers and acquaintances I run into each day, yet the people I love and see the most don’t always get the same five-star treatment. My husband has known for many years to not take it personal if he doesn’t get a smile or a sentence out of me before I’ve had a cup of coffee and at least 30 minutes to wake up in the morning. With my hair disheveled and eyes half-closed, I’ll even insist he not speak because his natural morning energy is just way too much. I had to give myself a pep talk at first, but this month I forced myself to get out of bed with a smiling, “Good morning!” Ok, so I didn’t remember EVERY day, but the more I did this type of thing, the happier and more positive I truly started to feel. I even held back from complaining about someone’s clothes and dishes lying around the house and decided to quietly and nicely put them away myself each day. Regardless of what my natural inclination is, I don’t want to be a grouchy, nagging wife and mother my whole life, so I’m now learning to make these pep talks a regular part of my day.
I also tried "meditating on compassion,” which is something that has been taught by many spiritual leaders, peacemakers, psychiatrists and Yoga teachers around the world. The purpose is to practice becoming a more compassionate and grateful person from the inside out. When I couldn't sleep at night, was taking a bath, or was on a walk, I would concentrate on kind thoughts about each one my friends, family members, and neighbors. I would imagine them getting good news or think about the qualities in them I am most grateful for, and in the process, I was effortlessly replacing what might have been worrisome or negative thoughts with compassionate thoughts that ultimately improved my mood, my sleep habits, and even my relationships. This is perhaps the easiest way to practice compassion, not to mention many people believe, as I do, that our thoughts (and emotions and prayers) have a confounding, powerful ability to affect people and the world around us.
I did give more compliments and words of encouragement than usual, but I also let not-so-nice things slip out on occasion. I also never found the perfect chance to buy a stranger’s coffee or to put someone’s shopping cart away, and maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough, but these are the types of things I would like to have said I did all month long. If anything, I can honestly say this month has made me more mindful of how I treat people and it has inspired me to continue working towards being a kinder, more selfless person.
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