"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony."

With January being devoted to nutrition and health, I started the week by clearing out my fridge and stocking up at the whole foods store. The first week of my new lifestyle was a success, but then the weekend came with its many temptations and a lack of routine, and I found myself shamefully eating whatever I wanted and letting my goals fly out the window. I was worried my resolutions might not be taken seriously if I was seen scarfing down a basket of garlic bread and a plate of lasagna, but I reassured myself that part of the plan was to quit dieting and indulge a little. So why did I still feel ashamed? Can't I be healthy and do this too? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I’ve spent years being burdened by guilt and unrealistic expectations when it comes to nutrition and health. No matter how much exercising, raw food, and health books I incorporated into my life, I always felt like I should be doing more. (I feel bad for not flossing...is that normal?!)

Since this entire project is about being a better, happier person, I know that it is time to figure out the root of these feelings and to change this destructive mindset. The constant exposure to different diet fads, supplements, gym memberships, health trends, and beautiful people in the media adds a lot of pressure, but the time has come for me to give up on the idealistic notion that I will someday be a vegan or have six-pack abs and to start being realistic. At one point I taught aerobics, at one point I lived on the beach, and at one point I was 20, but I will spend the rest of my life being unhappy if I expect to always look and feel the same as I did 10 years ago. I'm not benefiting my health if diet and exercise constantly stresses me out, and I'm certainly not getting any younger or thinner worrying about getting older and fatter. Bottom line: I've got to find a balance and start living in the present.

That said, I spent January eating nourishing, natural foods MOST of the time and making small, healthy changes. I took my vitamins (sometimes), drank lots of water, and did PiYo 2x a week, but I wasn’t a slave to this routine and never felt restricted or guilty when “cheating.” My goal was to simply feel my best each day. Sometimes that meant treating myself to junk food, but that sluggish and uncomfortable feeling after eating a heavy, unhealthy meal reminded me it's not always worth it. I had to find a way to make my meals both satisfying AND healthy if I was going to stick to the plan, so I tried to get creative and make healthier alternatives to my favorite foods. I was pleasantly surprised with how easy, inexpensive, and delicious everything was!

When craving Mexican food, I let black beans, onions, garlic, and spices cook in a crockpot all day, made organic brown rice into Spanish rice with some salsa and chili lime Mrs. Dash, and cut up some avocados to top it off. The tostadas are processed, but the ingredients list contains only corn, vegetable oil, and salt. No preservatives, artificial colors, or mysterious ingredients in the entire meal, and my husband and I were happy to finish the leftovers the next night!

One night last weekend I had the phone out ready to place a pizza order, but I decided to see if I could improvise first. I put this together using flax seed pitas (Ezequial tortillas work great, too), pesto (on one), marinara (on the other), cheese, and fresh parsley, and I baked it for 8 minutes. Yum!

I also made these Thai summer rolls with rice paper, cabbage, lettuce, carrots, cucumber, basil, and mint. I could eat these every day, but I still need a little practice with rolling them up :).

I’ve also been drinking green lemonade (juice from romaine lettuce, kale, lemon, ginger, and two apples). It takes some getting used to, but I like the way it tastes and it contains tons of energizing and beneficial live enzymes that go to work instantly.

Eating this way, I had no need to feel guilty or deprived because everything was so nutritious and tasty! When I did go out to eat with friends or craved junk food, I allowed myself to indulge in whatever I wanted. I realized how unnecessary many of my negative feelings were, and in the end, I think I found some harmony between improving life and enjoying it. Even if I do what I can to live a long and healthy life, it will always be too short to skip dessert!